Friday, October 26, 2012

Season 2 Final Weigh In: And the winner is no surprise

There it is, the prize.  Only one proud soul will get to down such a yummy platter at no cost.  His name is:

Craig Mallon

I'd like to tell you that we gave Craig a challenge this week, but that just isn't really true.  As a true champion, Craig did not take his foot off the gas.  The truth is, Craig brought it hard every week but one.  And there is always a bounce back week somewhere.  You'll have to ask him what he did, I have no clue.  All I know is this, he kicked the ever living shit out of every single one of us.  Good for him, couldn't think of someone who deserves it more.

Now that we are done going down on Craig, let's see the final standings:

1. Craig Mallon  SW: 163.0     FW: 144.5        CH:  -11.85 %    LOST:  18.5 lbs
2. Matt Morgan  SW: 196.4    FW: 181.0         CH: -8.09 %       LOST:  15.4 lbs
3. Laura Baird    SW: 155.4    FW: 143.8         CH: -7.69 %       LOST:  11.6 lbs
4. Scott Wyler    SW: 237.8    FW: 225.0         CH: -5.48 %       LOST:  12.8 lbs
5. Della Wyler    SW: 139.2    FW: 135.0         CH: -3.04 %       LOST:  4.2 lbs
6. Shawn Zollo   SW: 141.0    FW: 137.0         CH: -2.84 %       LOST:  4.0 lbs

Wow!  Great job everyone.  That is a total weight loss of:  66.5 lbs

Let's take a look at some other stats stats:


I added the Body Mass Index (BMI) measure to our tracking this contest at the request of Scott.  I have long since felt that the BMI was a very flawed measurement.  Now that I am in the GREEN (Normal weight), I still feel the same way.  That said, I'm sure it is better to be in the GREEN than the ORANGE or RED.

At the beginning of our little contest we had the following:


Today, the numbers are much improved:


Talk about turning the scales on BMI.  I can tell you that Shawn is only 1 lb away from GREEN.  We almost went 5 GREEN and 1 ORANGE.  And, our ORANGE started as a RED.  Here are the changes in BMI for each fatty:

Additional Notes:

- Big comeback week for Della.  Posted he best week in the final week.  Keep it up Della, looks like you have found your stride.
- Shawn turned around, what looked like real mess a few weeks ago.  Keep up the hard work.
- Only 1 contestant lost weight every week (Scott is omitted from this stat until he weighs in).  That person is also super handsome.  (crickets)  It's me assholes.
- Not surprising, our 2 lowest weight loss contestants also had the most number of weight gain weeks at 2.
- Shawn distanced herself from the win with a double whammy of back to back weight gain, shortly before righting the ship down the stretch.
- Other than week 1, Craig held the lead the whole contest.
- MEN completely crushed the WOMEN:  25.43%  - 13.57%
- Laura holds the best BMI at 22.52.  Scott holds the worst at 28.89.
- Craig, not surprisingly, lowered his BMI the most:  -3.08

I don't think it is overstating one bit to say that we, well me, since it was my fucking idea....I CURED OBESITY.  STFU about the small sample size...I DID IT!  I'm a HERO....still.

Until we all gain the weight back in the next 3 months and need to do yet another weight loss contest.....EAT MORE BACON.  Della...this is for you too.

UGLY FEET:  In order of this week's awesome quotient

Craig:  144.5 (-4 lbs)  Overall: 11.86 %

Della:  135 (-2.0 lbs) Overall: -3.04%

Matt:  181 (-2.0 lbs) Overall:  -8.09%

Shawn:  137 (-1.5 lbs) Overall:  -2.84%

 Laura:  143.8 (-0.8 lbs) Overall:  -7.69%

 Scott:  Forgot to weigh in.  Will send tonight.  Estimates no change.


Monday, October 22, 2012

Week 6 weigh in: Crushing it into the final week

Wow!  People were just crushing it this week.  As we hit the final week of this contest, the leader has again distanced himself from the competition.  Laura is coming on strong and taking over 2nd place.  Shawn stopped her slide and Scott lost weight despite going on a trip and fatting down wings all weekend.

In other news, Della is making a claim to the "Actual Biggest Loser" title.  Shawn looked to be the favorite as recent as last week, but then Della said:

"Screw Shawn, I can eat more donuts than that skinny bitch!"  (this quote sponsored by Dunkin Donuts)

Observations from the week:

Craig - Vomiting on Saturday night might have been a plus and not the minus we all thought at the time.  Stay classy!
Laura - This walking fast shit apparently works.
Me - Still awesome!
Scott - Don't go on trips during weight loss competitions.
Shawn - Do go on trips to Laura's house during weight loss competitions.
Della - (crickets)

And now, once again, the ugliest feet in Florida.  In order of awesome quotient.  The weight, not the feet.

Laura - 144.6 (-3.0 lbs) Overall: -7.14%

Craig - 148.5 (- 3.0 lbs) Overall: -9.0%

Shawn - 138.5 (-1.5 lbs) Overall:  -1.76%

Matt - 183 (-1.8 lbs)  Overall: -7.0%

Scott - 225 (-0.8 lbs)  Overall:  -5.48%

Della - 137 (+0.2 lbs)  Overall:  -1.58%

This contest ends FRIDAY!

If you don't want to be heckled at the award dinner, you'll need to suck it up and stop being such sissies.  


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Week 5 weigh in: Uh Oh


Uncontrolled weight gain in the Mallon/Zollo household.  

You would think that having a spouse participate in the same competition would provide support and encouragement.  It sounds like the type of environment that would allow both parties to succeed.  YOU WOULD BE WRONG!

Brutal week for those guys.  Time to re-focus!

It really is a tale of two households this week.  Scott crushed it this week...absolutely crushed it.    Big change for a guy that started the competition by fatting down hot wings all Sunday long

And if that wasn't enough, someone told Della she was in a weight loss competition.

With Craig's slide this week, we really have a good competition for the stretch run.  If Scott can keep this up, he CLEARLY has the MOST FAT to LOSE.  But, hot wings are good.  Bacon is good.  Ask Shawn and Craig.

MEN vs WOMEN contest update:  Mercy rule, women lose.

On to the pictures of the ugliest feet in Florida, still in order of weekly AWESOME/TERRIBLE depending on whether or not you crapped all over yourself and gained weight.


Scott - 225.8 (-5.2 lbs) Overall -5.13%

Della - 136.8 (-1.2 lbs) Overall -1.73 

Matt - 184.8 (-1.2 lbs) Overall -6.03


Laura - 147.6 (0.0 lbs) Overall -5.11


Craig - 151.5 (+1.0 lbs) Overall -7.19%

Shawn - 140 (+2.0 lbs) Overall -0.69%

 Final Note

Della should send Shawn a fruit basket or bacon basket to say thanks for ending her awesome streak in the cellar of this competition.  How did we not make a rule for the actual biggest loser?  These two will be fighting it out for last place down the stretch.

Current Standings (2 weigh in's to go)

1. Craig (7.09) 
2. Matt (6.03)
3. Scott (5.13)
4. Laura (5.11)
5. Della (1.73)
6. Shawn (0.69)

On to the grid.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Week 3 weigh in: Power Rankings and some shocking results

Simply performing at a level that is clearly above everyone else.

Craig 153 (-6.0 lbs) Overall -6.22%

Holy crap!  What a week!  After being tied for 2nd, Craig decided to have an eff you guys week and dropped 6 lbs.  Safe to say that right now, Craig is in his own tier for the power rankings.

These guys are steady performers that will be in contention week in and week out.

Laura 148.8 (-2.8 lbs) Overall -4.3%

Matt 188.8 (-2.2 lbs) Overall -3.9%

Not ready to contend, but with one big week, they could become instant contenders.

Shawn 137.5 (-1.5 lbs) Overall -2.5%

Scott 232.4 (-3.4 lbs) Overall -2.28%

I feel like this tier is pretty clear.  It's for people who forgot they were in a weight lose competition.

Della turned in a real stinker this week.  So that we stay encouraging and not point out to Della, in front of everyone, how truly awful her performance was, here are some tips:

  1. Don't eat Donuts.  I thought this was clear.
  2. If you eat ice cream alone in a dark closet with a fork, it still has the same number of calories.
  3. Each week when I sign off with EAT MORE BACON...probably don't actually try to eat more bacon...especially at this point.
  4. When you add a bucket of fried chicken to your side salad with light might be missing something....but it certainly isn't calories.
  5. Milk those things before you weigh in next time.

Della 138.6 (+0.4 lbs) Overall -0.43% 

Now, back to my hangover.  Hail to the Redskins!

Until next week, EAT MORE BACON (**Not you Della....seriously)

***Note:  The women are getting their asses handed to them.  I'm just too big of a gentleman to rub your noses in it.  Craig is almost beating the women by himself.  If we could only pinpoint the weakness on the ladies team...if only.

The Grid